Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy". I call mine "Sex". He's a great pal, but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment.
When I went to a city hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like one, too!"
Then, I said, "But this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then, I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He winked and said, "You must have been quite a kid."
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex.
He said, "You don't need a special room. As long as you pay your bill, we don't care what you do." I said, "Look, you don't seem to understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Funny -- I have the same problem."
One day, I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He said, "Now that cable is all over the place, it's no big deal anymore."
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "The courtroom isn't a confessional. Stick to the case please."
Then, I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me, too."
Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over town for him. A cop came over to me and asked. "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I told him that I was looking for Sex. My case comes up Friday.
Here is Shamrock our proctector! He is a guardian of the front door with his bark when the doorbell rings and then licks whom ever is there once they come in. Although some people find him intimidating is he the greatest dog ever! He is a loving, patient, still playful in his old age and a loyal companion.
This is Coco, our mut. She is a bit overweight but loves to snuggle. Like a woman she has Shamrock by her side who most often lets her have her way.....first into a room to lay on the dog pillow or first to eat from the dog bowl. A few years shy of Shamrock but still as playful as a pup!
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Ron!
Ron who?
Ron a little faster, will you? There's a pit bull after us!
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